The overprepared parent, perfect toast, an afternoon pick-me-up, and a summer chopped salad.

Plus, a new July playlist.

The Overprepared Parent

With a long history of being a people pleaser, a perfectionist, and someone who hates being caught off guard, it's no surprise that much of my parenthood journey has centered around being prepared in advance for anything that might come up. Hungry? I've got snacks. Thirsty? Water bottles, ready to go. Scraped knee? I've got Band-Aids. Bored? No worries, I've got bubbles, coloring books, and action figures tucked into my bag. Crisis averted, problem solved. …But not really.

Part of this need to always be prepared is my own way of managing the stress, overwhelm, and unpredictability of parenting. Being overly prepared gives me a sense of control in the face of a toddler, the most unpredictable of beings, who might lose it at any moment. Loud crying, screaming, and big, wild emotions can be hard for me to tolerate, as I long for a calm, quiet, and under-control environment. While my preparedness often helps avoid tantrums and meltdowns in the moment, it ultimately takes away something essential for their development as they grow into healthy, functioning adults: their ability to tolerate being uncomfortable, frustrated, disappointed, and bored. And, as I am seeing more clearly than ever right now, the development of one of the most critical skill sets, patience.

I also think a part of my need to always feel prepared can be attributed to what I was consuming on social media (especially as a first-time mom) and the pressure I was feeling to appear as if I always had it under control. And, as an added layer, I see how deeply I've been conditioned, as an American in a culture of hyper-consumption, to believe that the solution to any of these "problems" that might come up with my kids is just a product away. The mini first-aid kit, the color-coded snack containers, the specialized bags with a dozen compartments to house everything necessary to ensure my child was never uncomfortable, never wanting, never without. I can't believe how much time and energy I used to spend packing Costa's diaper bag before leaving the house, lugging around way too much stuff everywhere we went. I carried around two different kinds of sound machines, for God's sake.

After living in Italy for the past two years, I see how this constant readiness and need to preempt every possible discomfort has actually worked against us. It's hindered our children’s development of patience, resilience, and their ability to sit with discomfort without losing it. Our kids have very little tolerance for waiting. When they're thirsty, they need the water now. If they're hungry, waiting even 15 minutes is unmanageable. Tears well up, panic sets in, and a full-blown breakdown begins almost instantly. "I'm starving!" one cries. "Do you want me to die of thirst?" another moans during a 20-minute ride home from school. At first, my initial instinct is to fix it. Pull over, find a gas station, grab something fast, anything to make the whining, the moaning, the spiraling stop. But I'm trying to catch myself now. I'm trying not to let their emotions dictate my response. I'm working on staying calm in the face of their full-blown meltdown. I’m learning how to tolerate it. It's challenging for me, but I'm really trying.

The more time we spend with Italian (and European) families, the more I see a different and healthier way of doing things. One that operates on the parents' terms, not the children's. One that promotes eating a meal at a table with your family, one that promotes the development of patience and a tolerance for waiting, and one that eliminates the expectation for instant gratification. There are no overflowing snack bags at school or camp pick-up. Parents don't even bring snacks to an all-morning soccer tournament. In fact, they all thought we were so "American" for showing up with our cooler of snacks. Snacks at school are small, maybe a single pizzette. Kids wait until it's time for lunch or dinner, until they can eat a proper meal. They understand that food comes at mealtime and will eat soon enough. They sit at the table and wait to be served. Parents don't scramble to meet every whim, and boredom isn't treated like a crisis. It isn't even acknowledged. And because they've learned to handle the discomfort of waiting, they do so calmly and with patience. So, now we are on our own journey of trying to change our parenting habits and behaviors, developing a greater tolerance for discomfort, for all of us. It's not easy, but I do believe it will be worth it in the end.

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Toast Two Ways

When it's this hot out, I want to eat dishes that don't require much cooking and highlight all the beautiful summer produce. Enter these two simple toasts we've been eating on repeat for the past two weeks. One is more savory, the other a little sweeter. Andre and I like to make one of each and split them. Delish!

TOAST WITH SUMMER TOMATO AND CHIVES

Makes 1 toast

• 1 thick slice of country-style bread

• 1 small garlic clove, peeled and end trimmed

• Extra virgin olive oil

• 1 small-medium Heirloom tomato, sliced into thin rounds (or whatever juicy, sweet tomato you can find)

• 2 teaspoons chives, minced

• Flakey sea salt

• Black pepper

Toast the bread until it just starts to turn golden. Once the bread is cool enough to touch, rub the top of the toast with the cut-side of the garlic clove. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Next, add the tomato slices across the toast. Sprinkle the chives on top and finish with a little more olive oil, a sprinkle of sea salt, and some freshly cracked black pepper.