Challenges of parenting a strong-willed child, a perfect fall kale salad with crispy lentils, and an 80's Gothic playlist for Halloween.

Plus, a bit of This & That.

I Forgot How Hard Age 3 Can Be

On our way home from school the other day, Bruno managed to squeeze his arms out of his car seat straps setting his upper body free (his new favorite thing to do). At first, he laughed, proud of himself for breaking free, staring at us with that little gleam in his eye and a big smirk on his face. So, in the chaos of the afterschool traffic in Rome, Andre quickly pulled the car over on the side of a busy street, and with cars, mopeds, and bicycles all racing by, I got out and attempted to get Bruno securely back in. And then came the tantrum. Once the seatbelt was unlocked, he flailed his body forward, clawed his way out of his seat, and refused to get back in. I tried many times to get him back in, as he kicked me and screamed in my face, but I could not do it. As his limbs flew left and right, he scrambled to hide in every corner of the car while Costa and Paolo begged him to return to his seat so we could just go home. It was so chaotic. So impossible. We sat for thirty minutes trying everything: offering him water and a snack, letting him choose his favorite song, attempting to distract him with a conversation about his day, a plane in the sky, and a toy on the ground. Nothing. His strong will would not waver. Finally, Andre got out of the car and managed to get him in the seat, but it was not without a fight. During the entire ride home, he screamed at the top of his lungs while pulling out his beautiful curly locks, his face red, and his mouth literally foaming.

Once we arrived home, he finally calmed down, but all of us walked into the house, shells of ourselves, wondering what had just happened. The night progressed all right, but I felt a fear taking over me in anticipation of the morning. What mood would I be getting? And, at first, it was ok. But, as we got closer to leaving, I took Bruno to get dressed. He didn't like this idea and began riling around, kicking off his shorts, at first laughing but the more I tried to get them on, his mood again turned to rage, screaming at me, as if the Bruno I know had left his body. I tried all the things: a calm voice, letting him choose pants or shorts, trying to gently but firmly hold his body while he scratched and kicked me until he finally took a swing with his hand and clawed the entire left side of my face. Trying not to escalate the situation even more but feeling overcome with sadness and pain, I asked him to please stop hurting my body, as tears welled up in my eyes. The battle continued to the car, strapping him again to the dreaded car seat and sending him to school with Andre. I felt so low as I dragged myself back upstairs to deal with Paolo, who was home sick with a fever. So sad. So emotionally drained by these episodes.

I share this not because I have any answers at all but because even after three kids, there is nothing that makes this behavior easy for a parent to handle, absorb, or proces. It's so hard. It's physically painful and emotionally exhausting. It makes you feel like every situation could take a catastrophic turn if you do the tiniest thing to trigger your child. Then, amid my emotional breakdown, I got a kind message from a mom who saw the picture of my face and told me she had also experienced this type of behavior with her son at that age. And, it was tough and, as she said, the weirdest mix of emotions when it happens. She also reminded me that, like all parts of this parenting journey, this is just a phase. And while it is a horrible one, it will eventually pass. I'm grateful to her for her message that made me feel seen and gave me hope for a time that I know will come very soon, even if it feels like not soon enough right now.

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A Salad Full of Fall Flavor

With the arrival of fall and cooler days here in Rome, I've been craving a hearty, nutrient-dense salad that celebrates the changing flavors of the season. So, this week, I let the produce at the farmers market guide me, and the result was the most satisfying, protein-packed, crunchy, tangy, crisp salad that hit all the fall notes I was hoping for. And I can't believe I haven't been making crispy lentils more often. They're so easy to prepare and are such a good source of protein, fiber, iron, potassium, and magnesium. Crisping them up in the oven gives them a wonderful texture, making them a great addition to salads, grain bowls, or a topping for a comforting soup. You might want to make some extra so you can have them on hand for the rest of the week!

KALE SALAD WITH CRISPY LENTILS, HONEYED WALNUTS, AND APPLE CIDER VINAIGRETTE