2020 Gobbled Me Up But I’m Still Grateful

I'm not gonna lie; it's been a hell of a year. Moving multiple times, trying to keep our business afloat, being displaced from our home, worrying about our employees and our family, navigating the world of Covid, changing friendships, very little sleep, shingles, and a body and mind that do not feel like they are my own. I regularly struggle to find grace and gratitude to carry through the days, and I've never felt more irritable, depleted, stressed out, or anxious. I've snapped and yelled more than I ever have before. I'm often not my best self, and I know it.

Even in writing down the hurdles and challenges of this year, I feel deep gratitude for so many things. I am grateful that Andre and I took a chance on Colorado even though it wasn't what we were ultimately looking for. We tried something new, something we had always talked about. We won't have to look back and say, "What if?" We learned big lessons and now have a better idea of what type of life we want to create for our family. We can now look forward knowing the risks we plan to take in the future are more refined and clear.

I am grateful that we are small business owners, even though it feels impossible right now. We spent seven years building a company of our own, and we know it's worth fighting for. The pandemic has forced us to operate in the leanest, most efficient way possible. It's caused us to waste less, be more resourceful, and seek guidance from people who are more experienced. It's hard and beyond humbling to feel so helpless, yet I see us pushing forward and making the necessary sacrifices to get through this difficult time. It has lit a new fire in me to hustle more, collaborate more, and develop new products and ideas that I have been dreaming about for years. The time is now.

I am so grateful that we have a home. What a blessing that is. When we finally move back in, it will be even better than it was when we left. I am grateful to all the incredible brands who are helping us bring our vision to life, especially during a time where so many of those collaborations have been put on hold. It wouldn't be a reality without them. I am grateful to have a husband who is managing the renovation on top of everything else we have to do for our company.

I am grateful that we all have our health. And, even though my body has been yelling at me (I hear you, shingles!), I know that it's a minor bump in the road. I'm healthy, and I know I need to take better care of myself. I need to prioritize my sleep and personal self-care because staying healthy is one of the most important things for myself and my family.

I am grateful to know that I already have everything I need. Less stuff and more experience is my goal. I want more cooking with my boys, more listening to records while we make dinner, more sitting around the dinner table talking about the best part of our day, more laughter with friends, more phone calls and fewer texts, more sitting on the ground and playing with my little ones, more snuggles and cuddles, more walks and fresh air, more beach days, more traveling, more collaboration and creativity, more connection. Truly grateful for this life, even though I often struggle to find that gratitude in the day to day right now. Wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday, from our family to yours. x

Photography by Bridget Burnett